boredom drives u mad...

Just came back from a training exercise.. saw what they did to goats. Its just so cruel. Is it justifiable? Personally i dont think so. But since its "approved", we shall not dwell on that subject lest i get charged. I want to ORD in peace.
I dont know why i'm so eager to play FM now. I think its due to boredom. I'm using newcastle, building a squad worthy of the european challenge. Out goes duff, viduka, emre, barton geremi and gang. I brought in van de vaart as my captain, yidirim, pizarro, paulo ferreira, venegoor, zarate. 3rd in the prem league with a 7-3-2 record. Not bad i think.. beat arsenal 3-0 along the way. Hope i can challenge for europe this season.
Back to why i started this blog, we played knights last sunday and lost 2-1. Really disappointed. i think that my performances have been dropping. I dont know why. I changed gloves recently and the new 1 feels good and gives me better grip. On the other side its less flexible for ur hand but it gives u good support. I really have to up my performances. It sucks to lose a game, not mentioning 2 in a row. It makes u sick in the stomach.
Anyways we'll be playing kampung 81 again this sunday. The previous match we played we got owned 6-4. And i really have to admit they were the better side that day. I feel that our team has been playing "kick and run" football. There is no passing and the defence is just in shambles. Once we get the ball we clear the ball far far away and not look for someone to pass to. Thats the problem. Of cos its easier said then done. Secondly, from the goalkeeper's (mine) point of view, the midfielders are not getting the first balls with their heads, thats why we keep getting attacked. I still remember how Shankar thought us to play football and that was how we got 3rd in the A div. No nonsense football. But it takes fitness to do that. I hope that i do get to start on sunday. It sucks going into a game when you're losing. It just drains ur confidence. And it gets worse especially if u concede early again like last week.
Although i dont call myself a winner i hate that losing feeling, knowing u could have done more, knowing those around u could have done more, much much more. An off day is not a excuse like what jo said.
Football gives people hope, it gives people 90 minutes of escapism from the harsh realities of life. It makes you feel like you're playing in front of a sellout crowd when only your girlfriends and friends are watching. It makes you feel like Kaka or Ronaldo or Van De Sar. For that 90 minutes you dream. For me, the past 2-3 games have been nightmares. Its time to put the ghosts to rest and do those who have put their faith in me proud. And i promise.. i will not disappoint